i shld blog more.
cus i'm soo bored
work is super the duper the boring la
at least we still have each other to talk rubbish to and to help global warming with...its ok la
hahaha
o wells
haven't really been sleeping well
was very worried bout darrel on tues...cus i think he's really having quite a tough time at army camp.
it really just breaks my heart to know how much he's suffering in camp and that i cant help him at all
haiz
n though i know that its useless
i still worry
i really cant help but worry
o wells
i guess with love comes the worry ba
i slept quite little
n the little sleep tt i got wasn't good sleep
i kept waking up many time in the nite
and i had a nightmare
i dreamt tt darrel was hurt really really badly in camp
i was soooooo worried and so scared n sad
when i woke up in shock
i realised tt i actually cried in my sleep
cus i was so worried
haiz
i know tt its useless to worry
but i cant help it
haiz
i cried so much
tt i finally fell asleep from exhaustion on mon nite
haiz
this is really draining me physically, mentally n emotionally
haiz
i dunno
then last nite
some of the ttas went out for fish n co dinner, ben&jerry's icecream and pool
1st time i played pool for real
not bad la
i was actually v tired
but then i went on a sugar high
at the pool place
i'm secretly not tt bad lor
hahahhahaha
o wells
was really v tired
but when i came home at bout 11.10
bathed n sent my appeal letter to imeprial n all
i din really feel like sleeping
so stoned till 1plus on the com
then stoned in my room watching infomercials
or something liddat la
o wells
so i'm v v v v v v v v tired today at office
o wells
work's really boring
dunno y
dun really have the appitite to eat much today
o wells
din really have much mood to do anything
haiz
i think i've been having too much time on my hand
keep thinking too much
its a bad habit i guess
think too much
worry too much
haiz
o wells
wonder how many ppl read this blog of mine
not many i think
how many ppl know bout my...so called "dark" past
i think is even lesser
really about a handfull
its not something i'm proud of...its not something tt i'll tell people. in fact...expect for those who knew at that time...i've only told 1 person ever.
o wells
sometimes
nowadays
when i feel like...
i dunno
like there's too many things on my mind and i cant cope
sometime
i just think bout doing it again
but i know i shldn't
i promised a few ppl that i wldn't ever do such a thing again
and i'll keep my promise
though it is rally really tempting
haiz
but i shldn't let those ppl who care bout me, esp darrel, to worry
o wells
so i will try to overcome this
i will...haiz
o wells
and cus i have so much time to think and reflect on my life...i realised
though i may open up to people and talk a lot to them
i never really open up completely
there's always this part of me tt they'll never know
maybe cus we're not that close
o wells...i dunno...dunno if its a good thing or a bad thing...o wells...just an observation of mine...
anw
i'm sorry darling...for not tell u all these...cus i really dun want you to worry...but i'll take care of myself
so u dun have to worry bout me k
i'll take care
i promise
u must take care too.
i love u<3